Monday, March 21, 2016

When It Does Seem Too Hard

I first want to thank those of you who commented on last week’s post and added many thoughtful comments. If you haven’t read what others said, it is not too late. You can go the “comment” section under “Hard”ly True.

But this week I want to respond to a comment that you will not read there. It was added and then removed by the person (I assume a mother) who posted it, but I was able to see it before she took it down. The pain she felt in her heart made it difficult for her to even write and then she must have decided she should not put it out there.


I am writing mainly for her because I don’t have contact information and am hopeful she is staying with us to see this. She is grieving the loss of her son who died just a few months ago. She did not go into detail, but it was clear that right now life is not just hard, but it feels impossibly hard. Her words were: “I don't know how to comprehend this or see it from a biblical aspect at this time or ever.”  She also wrote: “I guess I have left the church.”

Our dear sister, your feelings are real, and while I have not been right where you are, I know the feeling that life is too hard and that God seems to have allowed it to be too hard. When you have lived with God as your strength and foundation, that is now a tough place to be. Your world has been shaken.

Let me share two thoughts from Scripture. The first is Psalm 34:18: “The LORD is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” God understands when we are brokenhearted, and he feels with us when are crushed in spirit, but more than that, he cares and will help. If we are so brokenhearted we can make no sense of anything and so crushed that we are blaming him, he still cares and still comes.

The second is Psalm 73:26:My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.” For years my takeaway from this is that when everything in me seems to fail, God still gives us the grace to hold on to him. And I have learned eventually he brings healing.
Our sister, right now no one of us can make sense of your loss or fully understand how crushed you feel, but holding on to God and being with his people is the right way to come through this and find meaning.
I would like to send you some little books that may help. You can write me a info@goodbookpress.com.

Once again, we welcome others’ comments.

15 comments:

  1. Tom, thanks so much for sharing this. To our dear sister who is grieving so much... I have tears as I read this and my heart hurts for you. I will be praying for you, please do not give up!

    ReplyDelete
  2. It still amazes me every time I experience God speaking to me by His Spirit through his word and each other! This is so timely as I am also grieving the loss of my mom, Veronica, who died of uterine cancer about a year now. This weekend was a tough one as I remembered her as I attended a funeral for a sister's sister who lost her battle to cancer last week. Trying to process it all, understand it and view it from a spiritual and biblical view has indeed been hard. At times it's hard to even breath deeply how heavy its weight. I can definitely relate to the grief of losing a loved one. I too want to encourage our sister to make every effort to not give up and to weather this storm with God himself.
    Thanks Tom for those two scriptures as I do use God's Word for strength, comfort and peace. Thank you also for your weekly MCM's! All the best!

    ReplyDelete
  3. Praying for God's healing to comfort you during this time.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Praying for God's healing to comfort you during this time.

    ReplyDelete
  5. I am praying for you. God hears your cry and He is with you every step you take toward healing. Felitha Dennis

    ReplyDelete
  6. I am praying for you. God hears your cry and He is with you every step you take toward healing. Felitha Dennis

    ReplyDelete
  7. My Dear Sister, I cannot imagine the anguish and pain you are feeling. The loss of a child has no equal. I did endure watching my Mom die for several months, all the while trying to take care of my very young children. At times, I felt as if I was literally losing my mind and in my attempts to escape the insanity I jeopardized the sanctity of my marriage by being emotionally unfaithful. I say all that to say, don't let go of God. I know that may sound impossible right now, but I can tell you that He is able to get you through this. Had you asked me at the time if I wanted to stick with it, I would have told you I hated God for allowing my Mom to suffer the way she did. She had already lived a difficult life, this just wasn't fair. But I can tell you now that I am thriving, that I am stronger now than ever, and that God, in His wisdom, will use this situation. I know that you can see no reasoning in all this, but He will reveal it to you in due time. That has been my experience in all my difficulties. Please hold on by any way you are able right now. If it is by the thread of a thread, don't let go. You are in my prayers.

    ReplyDelete
  8. My dear sister, I understand your pain and also want to encourage you to hold on and lean on God's. Isaiah 40:28 says: God gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. Please lean on the promises of God during these difficult times and i can assure you that He will surely heal your wounds. I will remember you in my prayers. Love you....

    ReplyDelete
  9. Thank you Tom for sharing these thoughts. As we get older we share more grief and mourning. I pray our hearts remain soft to this process. There are different losses whether a loved one or a marriage. It is a loss. Love Isaiah 40 and Psalm 34:18 The Lord is close to the brokenhearted.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Thank you Tom for sharing these thoughts. As we get older we share more grief and mourning. I pray our hearts remain soft to this process. There are different losses whether a loved one or a marriage. It is a loss. Love Isaiah 40 and Psalm 34:18 The Lord is close to the brokenhearted.

    ReplyDelete
  11. My dear sister, My heart breaks at reading your posting. I personally, have been in your place, for years! I had to come to the place where where I recognized that God is not mean and Be doesn't make mistakes! Psalm 23 says that He makes me to lie down in a beautiful, green pasture and He leads me beside still waters, HE RESTORED MY SOUL! Please don't resist the good work that He is doing in you! I know that the grief is overwhelming, but it needs for you to embrace it! Please tell the truth, no matter what comes out!! You can't surprise God! He knows what you are thinking and feeling! Hang in there, Sister! You are not alone! You are in my prayers!

    ReplyDelete
  12. It is so great to know brothers and sister can pray for us all over. Dear sister I do pray for you. My heart goes out to you and pray you will hold to God's word during this time. That is the only way we can find comfort in times of trouble in our lives. My verses I go to the most is Proverbs 3:5 "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding." and "Be still and know that I am God" Psalm 46:10a When I think and said these verses to myself it help me find some peace during my daily life. Thank you Tom for sharing with us about our sister.

    ReplyDelete
  13. My dear sister, I can't relate to the loss you're going through. One of my frequent, greatest prayers is that I won't have to bury any of my kids. But I can relate to the feelings you have. I'm at a point in my life where every day seems hard and there are few days where I don't tear up or cry while I'm praying to the Lord about my issues and circumstances. But I remind myself of a saying I made up, which goes "Trust in God for what I know about him and reserve judgment for what I don't know yet; give him the benefit of the doubt." And I remind myself of a couple of scriptures that encourage my soul. "You keep track of all my sorrows. You have collected all my tears in your bottle. You have recorded each one in your book. On the very day I call to you for help, my enemies will retreat. This I know: God is on my side." (Ps 56:8-9) "The Lord will judge his people and have compassion on his servants when he sees their strength is gone..." (Dt 32:36) God is keenly aware of our sorrows and has kept track of every single tear we've ever shed. He knows when we've reached our limit and will rescue us in that moment. Hold on to these truths - and the ones others have written above - because the Lord knows, understands and cares more than we can imagine and will carry us when we're too weak or hurt or sad to carry ourselves.

    ReplyDelete
  14. Thank you, Tom, for not letting this reader's comment fall through the cracks and for giving us an opportunity to reach out to her through your blog. I pray that she feels Gods love through all these comments. I can't begin to understand her pain and am curious as to why she guesses she has left the church. Raised in the church of Christ, it took me several years to come to terms with not being a disciple. My eighteenth year as a disciple I walked away from his will by searching for contentment by dating worldly men without the standard I'd committed to. I kept coming to church. Most didn't know what I was going through, but after nearly 2 1/2 years of fighting with God I surrendered to his will and was restored. During that time I had to force myself to let sister see the ugly parts of my character that I hated to expose. To my surprise they treated me the way I guess Jesus and God would with patience and kindness. I hope that if this mother does not reach out to her church family for help through her grief, that disciple who have good grief sensitivity skills will reach out to those they know who have lost a loved one in hopes that she will find a pathway back to the kingdom. Sometimes with grief it's not what we say that helps, but how well we are able to listen.

    ReplyDelete
  15. Side note: took me a while to find "Hard"ly True. For other mobile users on the IPhone 4 you'll have to switch to web view by clicking link at bottom of page, then look for link in list on right side of page. Or click this link might get ya there:
    http://mindchangemoments2.blogspot.com/2016/03/hardly-true.html?m=0

    ReplyDelete